Someone once asked me what my mother taught me about motherhood. I thought of the word “sacrifice”.
My mother belonged to the so-called “Greatest Generation.” The Great Depression taught this generation to “make do” with what they had and sometimes to “do without.” During World War II, this generation of people rallied to do their duty, not for recognition or reward, but because it was the right thing to do. So in the 1930’s and ’40’s, Mama learned the value of sacrifice.
As a young woman, my mother must have had dreams and ambitions. I have a photo of her on a trip to Daytona Beach. She’s wearing stylish shorts, posing like a movie star, and flashing a broad smile. I’m sure she dreamed of romance and excitement.
I have another photo of her in her Hotel Dieu School of Nursing cap and cape. She seems to be glancing off into the future with happiness and optimism.
Mama worked hard to earn money to go to nursing school. She was proud of her career. But after she married and gave birth to her firstborn – me – she devoted her life to her family.
Mama loved her children unconditionally. She put our needs first and seldom spent money on herself. She and my dad rarely went out to dinner or a movie.
Her life at home seemed small. I wanted bigger things and vowed my life would be more adventurous. I would travel, have a wider social circle, and enjoy life.
But I learned that, regardless of my lifestyle and career choices. when I entered the realm of motherhood, sacrifice came with the territory.
Motherhood Involves Sacrifice
From observing my mother, I learned motherhood is a 24/7 job. Even when my mother came down with a cold or the flu, she couldn’t “call in sick.” She was still on the job.
When I had my own children, I was fully enrolled in the School of Sacrificial Living.
During pregnancy, I gave up my comfort for the new little life growing inside my body. But that was only the beginning.
Soon after my first baby entered the world, reality smacked me in the face. Motherhood is hard. Caring for a little human was nothing like playing with a doll. I couldn’t just cuddle the baby and then put him away in a toy box when I got tired.
I became schooled in lessons of sacrifice that mothers—and, yes, fathers, too—have had to learn.
Once the baby is born, they sacrifice much-needed sleep to attend to the baby’s nighttime hunger cries.
Often, they have to cancel plans and forego events because a child suddenly got sick.
At times they may have to sacrifice career opportunities for the good of the family.
Or they may work long hours in a demanding job, then come home to work additional long hours caring for the family.
Christians are Called to Live Sacrificially
But parents aren’t the only ones called to sacrifice. As Christians, we’re all instructed to “present our bodies as a living sacrifice.”
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
(Romans 12:1-2)
This doesn’t mean we become doormats for everyone to walk all over.
Nor does it mean we forego self-care.
And it certainly doesn’t mean we keep a scoresheet of all our good deeds to garner praise for ourselves or to make others feel indebted.
But being a living sacrifice involves a willingness to do whatever God calls us to do, even if it involves hardship. It means laying aside our self-interests and thinking of others who need our help.
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4 ESV
The concept of sacrificial living isn’t popular in today’s culture. We receive the message that we’re supposed to have it all—a perfect spouse, talented children, an exciting, high-paying career, a big, beautiful house, plus lots of free time for fun with friends and relaxation. We’re supposed to have it right away, without putting in the hard work.
And we certainly don’t consider how our selfishness affects others. The concept of “looking out for number one” is so ingrained in our culture that the term is found in the dictionary.
I’ll be the first to admit that I find it hard to put the needs of others at the top of my list of priorities. My own wellbeing usually takes first place, and I’m reluctant to exit my comfort zone.
But I look to my mother and to others who set an example of sacrificial living.
The Sacrifice of Jesus
Not all mothers love sacrificially. Sadly, some people have mothers who neglected, abandoned, or abused them.
For those whose mothers didn’t set a good example of selfless love (and for the rest of us whose loving mothers were nevertheless imperfect), we have a perfect example of unconditional love.
We have Jesus who made the ultimate sacrifice.
What’s the Motivation?
What kept him moving towards the cross, despite all the pain he knew he would face?
The same thing that motivates a loving mother. The same thing that motivates us when we’re called to assignments that will cost us. Cost us time and energy. Cost us money. Or cost us our pride.
He did it for the joy set before him.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:1-2
He knew his agony would be temporary, but his joy would be eternal.
Mothers look forward to “the joy set before them.”
When I was a young mother, I willingly gave up a little bit of sleep to experience the sweet sensation of my baby’s fuzzy head and velvety skin brushing against my cheek.
I found great joy in watching my babies’ personalities unfold as they reached milestones in development. I discovered the ultimate satisfaction of witnessing helpless infants grow into an independent adults.
When we serve the Lord, we, too, can look forward to the joy set before us. We gain eternal benefits when we live out our intended purpose and follow Christ’s example to serve others. I’m reminded of this quote by Jim Elliot:
“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”
Jim Elliot
Benefits of Sacrifice
But we don’t have to wait until we get to heaven to experience the benefits of sacrifice. Studies show helping others is good for us in the here and now. The following is a quote from the New Jersey City University website (and I found many more like it):
“Allan Luks, author of The Healing Power of Doing Good: The Health and Spiritual Benefits of Helping Others, has researched a phenomenon he calls “Helper’s High” for many years. Luks states that helpers experience a high similar to that of a runner following a workout. After helping someone, the helper’s body releases endorphins, brain chemicals that reduce pain and increase euphoria. This creates a rush of elation followed by a period of calm. He found evidence that a helper can even re-experience this high just by remembering their altruistic acts – even long after they take place.”
God may not have called me to make the same kinds of sacrifices my mother made. But lately I’ve realized I need to be more aware of the needs of others. I need to be willing to lay aside self-interests to meet the needs of those around me, not focusing on the hardship involved, but looking ahead to the joy set before me.
Maybe you feel that nudge, too, to reach out and make that sacrifice, big or small. To do the difficult thing. The uncomfortable thing. God promises joy to those who obey.
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:5-11 ESV
Photos courtesy of Tyler Nix and Nathan Lemon on Unsplash.com