For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. (Heb. 4:12 ESV)
I winced. Here comes the needle.
I’d already been poked earlier that day, and the phlebotomist had had trouble finding a good vein from which to draw blood. Now the nurse was also struggling to insert the IV that would deliver toxic chemicals to my body. The chemicals were meant to kill cancerous cells, but I knew healthy cells would be collateral damage. My fourth round of chemotherapy was proving to be even more brutal than the previous three.
The nurse tried again in vain (no pun intended) to get the IV going, but without success. She summoned another nurse, one with a reputation for being good at finding a vein. No luck this time, either.
Had chemotherapy ruined my vascular system? Was the chemo even working? Was I going to die?
In the icy, sterile infusion room, I could find nothing to steady the tremors inside me. Not the massive recliner, nor the heated blankets on my lap, nor my husband’s calm voice, nor the nurse’s soft touch. After the fourth or fifth jab in my forearm, I rattled off an emergency prayer. God, please help get this infusion going so I can be done with it.
The nurse tried again. But God’s phone line seemed to be busy because he wasn’t immediately answering my call for help.
By then I was sobbing. How could I brace myself to get through the procedure? I reached for a tissue. I reached for my husband’s hand. Then I reached for something hidden deep in the recesses of my mind. As a young Christian, I’d memorized Philippians 4:6-7. Those verses had often been my remedy for knocking knees.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:6-7 ESV)
Over and over, I recited those verses and others I knew from memory, until the words of Scripture calmed the riot inside me.
The nurse pricked me one more time. Success! God had not abandoned me.
Wielding the Sword of the Spirit
I’m happy to report I’ve been cancer-free for several years now. I wish I could say I’m worry-free as well, but sometimes, especially at night, peace-robbing thoughts sneak in. I’ve learned to fight them, though, with the weapon I carry close to my heart, “the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God” (Eph. 6:17)
Scripture memory may seem unnecessary in an age when a tap on a cell phone can provide immediate access to the Bible—and in multiple versions and translations. But when our hearts are aching and our hands are empty, it helps to have our minds filled with the Word of God, our Sword of the Spirit.
The verses I’ve memorized have come to my rescue…
…when I had to lie still in the belly of the great fish—otherwise known as the MRI machine.
… as I fought to still my trembling hands on the steering wheel on the way to a scary appointment.
… when I desperately needed sleep, but worry placed my mind and body on high alert.
Jesus and Scripture
Jesus himself used Scripture to resist temptation (see Luke 4: 1-12). Weary and famished from forty days in the wilderness, he could have satisfied his hunger by the wrong means. He could have made a deal with devil and given up his mission. He could have yielded to pride and done something foolish, just to prove himself. Each time he faced temptation, he answered the devil with a verse of Scripture.
It is written.
For it is written.
It is said.
God’s Word Is Our Weapon
Likewise, I, too, find temptation sometimes sneaks up on me when I’m physically or emotionally vulnerable. In those moments, I’m not usually in a position to say, “Wait. Let me read my Bible and see what God has to say about this.” More often I’m cornered by the temptation to fear, to give up, or to do something foolish. In these make-or-break situations, God’s Word steels my resolve and helps me choose the more Christ-like course of action.
For example, God’s Word is living, poking through my soul and exposing lackluster trust and not-so-good intentions.
His Word is active, delivering truth and striking down the lies that torment me.
God’s Word is sharp, slicing away unfounded worries and faulty thinking. It points to God’s lovingkindness, his goodness, and his faithfulness.
My friend, if you fight battles like mine, I encourage you to conceal God’s Word in your heart. Memorize it and carry it close, ready for the times when it’s dark. When you’re alone. When you’re tempted to surrender.
Fight back. Pull out your sword of the Spirit.
This post first appeared on The Glorious Table in July, 2020.
Featured image courtesy of Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash.
