When I was single and reeling from the blow of a broken relationship, a women’s minister advised me to “date Jesus.”
Now, I know this cute, blond lady had good intentions. She meant I should concentrate on my spiritual life and not rush into a new romantic relationship.
But the term, “date Jesus,” did not sit well with me for two reasons.
We Need God’s Perfect, Supernatural Love
First, calling Jesus a “date” reduces Him to an imaginary boyfriend who sits next to me on the couch while I eat a carton of ice cream and watch Hallmark movies. Someone who tells me what I want to hear as I moan, “Life is so unfair.”
Jesus is so much more than our imaginary buddy or cheerleader. He is God Incarnate, who is the perfect example of love and the embodiment of all the attributes of God. His love is unconditional and sacrificial.
God’s love is perfect and unchanging.
We won’t find that kind of love, that degree of love, in any human being. God’s love doesn’t say:
I love you because…
I love you if…
It doesn’t say:
I will love you until…
I will love you unless…
Or, I will love you when…
His love is always true and honest, and He always has our best interests at heart.
Human love will fall short, but God’s love never fails.
We Need to Love One Another
My second objection to the idea of “dating Jesus” is that God’s love doesn’t replace human love.
Even secular scientists and psychologists will attest to our need for love from other humans. While we can survive without romantic love, we cannot thrive without human connection. Babies who are deprived of physical contact will fail to thrive.
God created us to live in community. God instructs us to love Him with our whole hearts, but He also instructs us to love one another.
How Does God Express His Love?
“ but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8 ESV)
In 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book entitled The Five Love Languages.
Chapman proposed that there are five ways we express and receive love.
In order to feel loved, some people need to hear words of affirmation. For others, the words are not enough. They need to see action, so when someone performs acts of service, doing helpful things, they feel cherished. Others require quality time, or gifts, or physical touch.
No matter which way you need to see love expressed, God speaks your love language.
- Words of Affirmation. The Bible is our written love letter from God. Throughout the Old and New Testament, God tells us He loves us.
- Acts of Service. God performed the greatest act of sacrificial love by becoming human and sacrificing Himself for us. It is the greatest example of love ever.
- Quality Time. Spending time with someone is another expression of love. Think about this: God is ALWAYS with us. Because He is omnipresent, we can talk to Him anytime, anywhere. And because He is God, in every way superior to any mortal, He is never too busy or occupied with someone else or something else. Because He is unchanging, He will never leave us or stop loving us.
- Gift Giving. If you like presents, God is the ultimate giver of gifts. To the general population, God gives the blessings of His magnificent creation—the sunshine and the rain (that, incidentally, falls on the just and the unjust alike.) To those who become His children, He gives spiritual gifts, the first of which is His Holy Spirit.
- Physical Touch. This is the tricky one, because God is Spirit. We can sometimes “feel” God —if we stretch our imaginations. We feel goose bumps when a thought or feeling stirs our emotions. We feel the warm sunshine on our skin, or a pet’s soft fur. But sometimes, we just need a real hug.
And this is where the “body of Christ” springs into action.
The body of Christ, the gathering of all believers who comprise the church of Jesus Christ, has the responsibility to act as the hands and feet of Jesus.
We, the church, are the boots on the ground, carrying out God’s work and demonstrating God’s love.
And often we feel the love of God when someone in the “body of Christ” reaches out to offer a hug, a handshake, or a shoulder to cry one.
God Sends His Love
“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” (Psalm 56:8 New Living Translation)
All those years ago, God met me in my singleness. Comfort and hope sustained me as I read verses of Scripture. In my loneliness, I cried out to God knowing He heard every word. At times, my chest literally ached from the pain of heartbreak. But in those moments when I felt like I couldn’t go on, invariably someone would call to check on me, invite me over, or offer a listening ear.
During the season of singleness, I learned lessons about myself, about relationships, and about God. And eventually God brought a special someone into my life. My Creator knew my needs, and He provided.
You see, I learned that no one person can be my all-in-all. Only God can fill that role with His perfect love.
This truth freed me from placing undue expectations on other people, especially a potential marriage partner. I could then love freely without demanding perfection from another human being.
If you’re struggling to feel loved, allow yourself to relax in God’s Presence. (Hebrews 13:5)
Soak in the truth of His Word. (Romans 8:31-39)
Reach out and grab hold of the greatest gift anyone could ever give. (John 15:13)
Open your eyes to the numerous ordinary and extraordinary gifts He offers daily. (Romans 5:5; Matthew 7:11)
Rest in the knowledge that He knows your needs and will lead you to find fulfillment in His perfect love. Then be ready to reach out and grab the hand of the friends He brings your way.
Be ready to share God’s love as you obey His command to love one another.
You don’t need to date Jesus. But do worship Him, trust Him, and allow yourself to feel His perfect love.
Images courtesy of Rod Long, Elianna Gill, Emmanuel Phaeton, and Joshue Hoehne on Unsplash.